Learning to Live
by MikoMimi
Summary: A Sesshomaru centerfic. Sesshomaru is a man without purpose, but within 3 years he will experience 3 events that will shape his view on life completetly.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Well, this is my first and last author's note that will appear at the beginning of this story. All other's will be at the bottom. I just wanted to thank everyone for coming to read this story and I hope you enjoy. Thank you!

Disclaimer: This applies to all chapters of this story. I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters.

Learning to Live

Part 1: Being Reborn

Chapter 1: A Day in the Life of God

The city. Dull, dirty, dangerous. He looked out the window with a blank face, but on the inside he was scowling. Disgusting, simply disgusting. Pathetic people in a pathetic city, and he was their leader. No, he was not a political or military leader, that would be too easy. To sway them with his words would just be more proof of their idiocy. He would have them signing away their rights before they even noticed. No, even a child could do that. Instead, he was the leader of the top corporation in Japan; one of the most famous and renowned companies in the world.

But it was pointless. It was too easy.

He let a fraction of his internal discontent slip to the surface in the form of a creased eyebrow. It was only a few hours past noon, but already it was dark outside. It would probably storm in a matter of hours. He schooled his features and picked up all of his belongings. Walking out of his office he mentioned to his secretary to take the rest of the day off as soon as she filed the last stack of papers he gave her.

"Thank you Mr. Taisho," she said with a small bow.

He nodded and then turned to leave the building. Getting into his car, he drove off noting that the traffic was lighter considering his early departure.

Upon arriving at his residence, he bathed. As the hot water ran down his body he remembered the storm outside and the storms of his past. Stepping out of the shower and changing into slightly baggy, faded jeans and a button-up tan shirt, he picked up his umbrella and walked out the door into the light drizzle.

---

Dinner was decent. The small town restaurant was traditional in design as well as taste. That suited him just fine. Though he claimed impartiality to everything, he was fond of older things. Given different circumstances, he would consider himself an old soul. Attracted to the simpler things; the things that had character and were not just purchased off an assembly line.

He laughed.

Just kidding.

If he had had any less self control he would have laughed at the irony of it. After all, his corporation made most of the "characterless" items out there. Pre-made, easy to use, ready to go. Didn't anyone do anything themselves anymore?

Again, on the inside, he sighed. People were stupid. They were lazy, greedy, selfish, and rude. No one really cared about anyone else. They only care about themselves. Their image. Their well-being.

He left the proper amount for the bill on the table and left the restaurant just as a large amount of people entered. After waiting until they cleared the door, he stepped out into the now heavy rain. He looked up into the sky with a blank face.

"If you're looking for a little fun you're not gonna find it up there."

He looked to the left of him and saw a woman, maybe a few years older than him, in a low cut shirt and a short skirt. Her short, dark brown hair and chestnut eyes gave her an air of youth, but he knew the type.

He silently withdrew from her presence and headed to the nearby park. The rain made everything smell fresh and alive. Alive. He hadn't felt that in so long it almost didn't seem real. The ground was already beginning to form mud. How lucky for him.

He thought about what the woman had told him. He almost sighed. He wasn't looking for fun. No. He was looking for a reason. What was the purpose of being born into this place? Why was it that all people care about nothing except themselves? Was there not one selfless person out there?

He was a hypocrite. A big, fat hypocrite. Alright, so he wasn't big and fat. He was a very good looking 21 year old with waist length silvery white hair and cold gold eyes. See? He really was a hypocrite. Here he was asking if there was a single solitary being out there who cared about anyone else. Did he care about anyone? No. Did he go out of his way to make someone else's day go better? Not really.

That time he gave a light snort. A hypocrite. That's what he was.

He was about to leave the park when something to the side of the path caught his attention. He frowned. Was it an animal? It moved again and let out something akin to a yawn.

He walked over to the bushes where the animal, or whatever it was, seemed to be. Pushing aside the branches, he crouched down until he was kneeling in the mud. Moving aside a final branch, all he could do was stare at what he saw.

It was a young girl.

He took in her condition. She was maybe 7 years old; 8 at most. She also seemed to be malnourished. She was only wearing a dirty summer dress and it was already approaching mid fall.

He was undecided about what to do. On one hand he could drop her off at a hospital or at a police station and be done with it. Or he could bring her to his home and take care of her himself. He sighed and picked her up. His house was only a few blocks away and the rain was still falling hard.

---

Getting her to his home proved to be an easy task. After getting Inside, the first thing he had done was to bathe the dirty girl. He then dressed her in one of his fitted shirts, though it still trailed past her feet. She still had not woken up, so he laid her in the guest bedroom and went to the kitchen to make her something to eat.

It wasn't long until he heard the door open from the bedroom he put her in and he saw her body, hidden by shadows, emerge from with in. Then she stepped into the light of the living room.

Small. Long, waist length, dark brown hair. Lightly tanned skin. Large chocolate eyes. Staring at him. She wasn't afraid. No, she wasn't afraid at all. He absentmindedly wondered what could have happened in such a short life to take the fear out of being in a strange place. Maybe even children were no longer innocent.

The girl walked though the living room and into the entry way of the kitchen. She gave him a look that seemed to ask if the food he was preparing was for her. He pulled out a plate from a cupboard to the right of him and dished some of the pasta he had made onto it. He set it on the table behind him.

"Eat."

He was a man of few words. She seemed to realize this and nodded. Walking up to the table she sat down and quietly began to feed herself.

He noticed, as she was eating, that she really was a pretty for a girl of only 7 years. She would probably grow up quite nicely. He began cleaning up the dishes, and by the time he had finished, she was done eating as well.

"Thank you," she said in a quite voice. He nodded to her and began to clean the final dishes.

"You must still be tired, girl. Go back to bed."

"Alright. But my name is Rin. What's yours?"

He turned around and looked her in the eyes. Here he was, a 21 year old man with a 7 year old girl living in his house. By coincidence, she was probably the first girl to ask his name and not expect something out of him. Her look was sincere. She was innocent. All she wanted was the name of her caretaker.

"Sesshomaru. You can call me Sesshomaru."

A/N

So? What did you think? Alright well I just wanted to clear a few things up about how this story is going to work.

This is a 3 part story. Each part has 5 chapters. That means that in total it will be 15 chapters.

That's about it. Please review and tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Learning to Live

Part 1: Being Reborn

Chapter 2: Connecting

Sesshomaru watched from the hallway as his young ward watched television. She had been staying with him for almost two weeks and already her body was beginning to lose the signs of her malnutrition. Her face was fuller and her skin had more color to it. He had been right in his assumption that she would one day be very pretty. In fact, any other being with a heart would probably have been spoiling the girl by now. He wasn't. He just wasn't that type of person.

He had asked her, a few days prior, if she wanted him to turn her over the police so they could find her family. She had shaken her head fiercely. It was apparent from her mood thereafter that she didn't want to see her family.

He could understand that. He didn't like his family much either.

"Rin," he said as the show she was watching ended, "Have you finished your homework?"

He had hired her a tutor. He didn't want people to know he was keeping a child with him and this proved to be an appealing solution.

Rin nodded, but stood up anyway and went to her room; once the guest bedroom. A moment later, however, she peeked her head out and asked softly,

"Sesshomaru? Can I go to the zoo tomorrow?"

He looked at her. The tutor had mentioned that though she was very bright, she knew little about the outside world. Also, the tutor wanted her to do some sort of report on an animal. No doubt this was why she wanted to go. Whenever she asked him a question, it always seemed she was waiting for him to rebuke her for such a request. He didn't fail to notice that she asked if she could go, not if he could take her. As much as he wanted to deny it, Rin was slowly making herself a part of his life.

"I will take you," he said slowly.

Rin smiled, and after a quick 'thank you' she went into her room to do whatever it is that children her age do.

---

Why was he here again? Oh, that's right. He was helping his ward with her science project.

Rin ran to and from each exhibit with a smile so large it looked plastered on. He was almost afraid her face was stuck that way. A scary thought indeed…

Had she never been to a zoo before? What kind of life did she live before he found her?

He had never asked her outright because he thought it was her business and that he honestly didn't have a right to know. Now, however, as he became closer to a father figure, he was almost curious as to why she was with him and not her own family.

After collecting the necessary information, they left the zoo. One in tow with a child, the other in tow with a smile so large it needed its own zip code.

"Did you enjoy yourself, Rin?" asked Sesshomaru with the barest amount of amusement in his voice. He didn't know why, but he wanted to know if she had had fun. Her surprise hug and cheerful bantering about all the things she saw was more than enough to confirm his suspicions.

He was surprised that she had hugged him. He had never been an overly affectionate person, and so far, he had assumed that she wasn't either. Another surprising fact was that he allowed her to hug him. Normally, any person to close to his person with out his permission would be removed of forcibly.

Sesshomaru hugged her back a bit tensely. He wasn't used to this sort of thing.

After Rin had settled down, Sesshomaru started the engine. As he began to leave the parking structure, he looked to the side and saw Rin. The light shined on her in a very eerie manner. Also, she had a very, well, he could only describe it as a thoughtful look on her face. Maybe it held contentment and reminiscence too. All of a sudden, he had the urge to know the truth.

"Rin, why are you with me?"

Rin looked at him with both shock and embarrassment clearly written on her features. The blush and insecurity in her eyes told all. She was so young, but he could tell that there was something clearly wrong about what had happened to her.

Rin looked away, but did not speak.

"Rin…"

She sighed, but did not move her gaze from the scenery passing by her window.

"I… I'm a mistake."

A/N

So… a bit of a cliff hanger there. I hope you liked it. Well, please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Learning to Live

Part 1: Being Reborn

Chapter 3: Mistakes

"I… I'm a mistake."

Cold. Dark. Slimy. It felt as though something dirty and disgusting was creeping down his back at a slow and antagonizing rate. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this uncomfortable. Maybe he never had. But that unsettling feeling in his stomach didn't leave, and it grew as Rin continued.

"My mother was a famous model. My father a wealthy businessman. They didn't want children. My mother was always complaining about how much weight she gained while having me… my father just ignored me. He ignored everything but his work and the woman he went to see on Saturday nights.

"I had a maid who took care of me during the day till I was 5, then my mother fired her, and I was left alone. As my mother's career ended, she became very upset and started drinking. This made her crazy. Sometimes she would throw plates at the wall… sometimes she would beat me.

"I had to get out. So I ran away to where the maid lived. I knew I couldn't stay long, but she gave me enough money to get to Tokyo. I don't think my mother noticed I was gone for awhile. It wasn't until almost a month after I left that I heard that I was a "Missing Person". I've been living on the street for 5 months now and I don't want to live the rest of my life with her."

Sesshomaru stared at the road of him intently. He was about to ask her a question when she reflected out loud.

"I wonder if she beat me because I was a mistake or if it was because I wasn't born perfectly…"

Sesshomaru was confused. _Wasn't born perfectly?_ What is that supposed to mean? He reflected quietly over what Rin had said. So her mother would break things and break her. Her father was never around and ignored her whenever he was. How could a child have grown up in such a place?

He was about to question Rin more when he saw that her face was flushed.

"Rin, you have a fever."

"I know… It's just stress. It'll go away like it always does."

"…like it always does?"

Rin looked away, but he had the distinct feeling that something might be wrong. He didn't want to pry more though. He had already pushed her far enough.

By this time, they had reached his home and as soon as they were inside Rin declared she was going to bed.

---

It had been almost two and a half months since the episode at the zoo, and three months since Rin came to him. He didn't understand his connection towards her. Maybe it was that their lives shared similarities. He had always thought that he came out stronger from his past, but now, looking at Rin's way of life, he wondered who was stronger. She let people in to her heart. He tried to keep people out.

A few other small things made him question his… daughter.

First, she always watched what she ate. He had assumed that a child who had been deprived of many things would enjoy the treat, but she avoided it like the plague. That was curious behavior for any child. Secondly, she usually went to bed quite early. When he first met her, she would stay up till her exact bedtime, 9:30, and then shuffle off to actually get ready for bed. Now, for it had slowly begun to increase in occurrence, she was ready for bed and asleep by 8:15. Sometimes earlier.

At first, he thought that maybe she had just played hard during the day. As time passed and it because a more regular schedule to follow he began to get worried. He hated being worried. And yet, for some strange reason, her words on that day played back in his mind.

_Wasn't born perfectly?_

What could that mean?

---

It had been only a week since his reflections. Nothing had changed drastically, or so he thought.

Sesshomaru's days were spent at work and his nights were dedicated to Rin. He was a bit behind, but whenever she asked him if he had work to do he told he it could wait. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. It was the least he could do.

As I said, it had only been a week since his reflections when one night he was playing card games with Rin. They were having a fun time. Rin was laughing and he let a small smirk play on his lips. She was so happy. In fact, she was laughing so hard she had a nice blush on her face… but she wasn't laughing…

"Rin, you have a fever."

"I know… I think I'll take some medicine and go to bed…"

She seemed a bit out of it. As she stood, she wobbled a bit. When she regained her footing, she made her way towards the bathroom, but never made it there. She fell. She lay prostrate on the floor. Her breathing shallow. Her body burning. Her eyes closed.

Sesshomaru felt something icy grip at his heart. He pushed it aside, however, and picked up his little girl and took her to the hospital.

---

He had been waiting for 4 hours. He knew that they performing tests on Rin, but that didn't make him feel any better. He had seen, before they closed the screen, all of the tubes and wires that were around her. He hoped she wasn't scared if she woke up.

Then, a doctor exited Rin's room with a grim frown on his face. It was Dr. Yamamashi, Sesshomaru's personal doctor.

Dr. Yamamashi attempted to make the situation lighter.

"Well, Sesshomaru, I haven't seen you in awhile."

It didn't work.

"How is my… daughter."

Dr. Yamamashi frowned again. There wasn't exactly a class in medical school on "Condolence 101". In fact, nothing a doctor can do can prepare them for the first time they have to say these words. Actually, nothing can prepare you to say them at all, no matter if it's the first or thirty first time you have to say them.

"I'm sorry, Sesshomaru, but… your daughter is dying."

A/N

Well I hope you like this chapter and hopefully I can the next one out to you this weekend. Later.


	4. Chapter 4

Learning to Live

Part 1: Being Reborn

Chapter 4: Fairytale

Darkness, cold, death. Light, warmth, life.

Sesshomaru sat in a chair near to his daughter's side. He wanted to be close to her, but yet again, he didn't want to disturb her. It was though the tranquility of the entire room balanced on him. And he wasn't sure if he was capable of such a responsibility at the moment. His head was spinning. His arms felt like dead weights. And his little girl lay on the bed slowly breathing in and out. In and out. In and out.

Half of her body was immersed in sunlight; the other half in shadows. It seemed as though both sides were competing for his child's life. And whenever he went to tuck the covers in a little closer around her neck the shadows increased.

Sesshomaru reflected on what the doctor had told him. Actually, he hadn't been listening to the doctor's speech at all. After he found out that his daughter was dying nothing else really mattered.

He listened to the beeping of the heart monitor telling him that there was still hope left. He listened to the shallow breaths, watched the flushed cheeks, smelled the hospital food on the tray nearby. All these things were signs of life. And then she woke up.

At first Rin seemed confused by where she was, but as the sleepiness left her eyes she realized where she was and what happened.

"You know what's wrong now, don't you?" she asked.

"No," Sesshomaru replied truthfully, "I wasn't paying attention to the doctor."

Rin sighed and looked up at the plain white ceiling.

"I'm not sure what it's called, but I do know is what will happen. I'll start to get headaches, then I'll get weak, and then everything will start shutting down."

"You've been hiding the headaches, and you've tried to eat healthy and sleep more to have as much energy as possible while I'm around."

"I'm sorry, but I didn't want my fairytale to end. I feel like a princess in a dream whenever I'm with you."

Sesshomaru wanted to sigh, but he knew that would weigh heavily on Rin's conscience. He had said before that people were greedy and self-centered, but he also forgot to mention that they were liars.

Everyone lies and up to this point he had attributed to the fact that they were greedy and self-centered. But somehow, even though Rin had only wanted her dream, he couldn't see her act as one of being self-centered. If she was really that way, an ungrateful and spoiled brat, she would have constantly asked for things and attention. Instead, she studied well with her tutor, she picked up after herself, and only wanted to play with him when he was able to. She was only an innocent child trying to live in a dream, if only for a little while.

Sesshomaru lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. They may not have a child's innocence, the kind that comes from not knowing pain or hurt, but she had the innocence of a person without ill will. The kind of person that cares deeply for others and has not been tainted. It was the kind that can only be seen by looking in someone's eyes.

"You are a princess, but would you like my princess?"

Rin looked confused, but he continued anyway.

"Rin, I want to adopt you."

Her eyes went wide and her mouth made an "O" shape. She was surprised to say the least.

"But… but I won't be alive for much longer. Why would you want to burden yourself like that. And you're so famous - people will see me and my mom might too. You can't do that. You don't really want to."

She started to cry and turned her head away.

"I can and I will, that is, if you accept."

"What about the public?"

"If you don't wish them to know, then they won't."

Rin looked down as she wiped her eyes. Sesshomaru knew what she was thinking though. She wanted to know if having this small amount of happiness was worth it for the short time she had left. He had tried to show her how sincere he was in wanting her to stay with him. She knew that he didn't truly love her, but he did care for her greatly; maybe one day he would be able to truly love her as a parent.

"Alright," she said slowly, "I would like that very much."

Sesshomaru let out the breathe he didn't know he was holding.

---

The process of adoption had gone smooth enough. Sesshomaru had explained the situation with Rin to the director of the local police forces and he agreed to "misplace" any records concerning the disappearance of her. Also, since documents had been distributed to orphanages in case a missing child showed up there, the police director and Sesshomaru had "persuaded" the operator of one of these orphanages to forget that there was a reward for Rin's return.

After she was accepted into the orphanage, Sesshomaru's lawyer got the paperwork and in less than 3 days after her hospitalization, Rin was formally known as Rin Taisho.

With public control agents second-to-none, the whole affair was never even heard of by the general public.

---

With a handful of prescriptions from the doctor, Rin's life expectancy had been lengthened, or so he had been told. There were 5 different medications that she had to take daily. That and continuing her healthy diet would add almost 6 months to her life, hiving her a grand total of a year and two months. It wasn't a lengthy amount of time, but it was as good as it would get. Rin was thankful, and truthfully he was too.

They spent more time together and he felt more than ever that she was a part of his life. Sometimes she spent the night in his room, they went to the movies and the beach, and, as a treat, a few trips to the ice cream parlor. (Does anyone call them ice cream parlors anymore? )

The months flew by and before he knew it, Sesshomaru was getting ready for Rin's 9th birthday. He planned on taking her for a day trip going first to the mall, then to a carnival, and finally out to dinner. All plans were prepared and the day was at hand. She wanted to be a princess, and that was what she was going to be.

The day started with Sesshomaru cooking her breakfast and serving it in bed. As she ate, he set out clothes for her in her bathroom and prepared a bath. As she took her bath, Sesshomaru prepared himself for the day ahead. First stop: shopping.

Sesshomaru sat outside the changing room only minutes away from rolling his eyes. He said that she could get, with parental discretion, anything she wanted, but specifically an outfit for the afternoon and that evening. She hadn't come out yet and it had been about 20 minutes. How many outfits had she taken in there?

Scratch that. He didn't want to know.

About 10 minutes after that, Rin came out of the dressing room wearing a pair of light blue jeans and a long plum tank top. He had to say that she looked very trendy. Her long dark brown hair shined in the low light and her pale skin had a rosy tint to it because of her embarrassment.

He had to admit, grudgingly, that she didn't look 9.

He wanted her to show him her outfit for the evening, but she declared it was a secret, and not even the sales clerk was allowed to tell him what it was. With those two outfits, and one more, the father and daughter headed to the carnival.

---

Author's Note

I'm sorry that I haven't been around recently, but a lot has happened including the deletion of my computer information and my grandfather's surgery. I'm back now though, and hopefully should be able to maintain a more constant series of updates. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope that you're ready for the last chapter in this section. Later!


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